The First Man.mp4

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Comment by C. Lamar Powell, Founder of PBW on July 16, 2011 at 7:22pm

Foreword
By
C. Lamar Powell

“The princess walks into the room, gracefully. Across the room, a man looks at her lovingly. He smiles. The princess approaches him with love and admiration. Her eyes speak of the love she has for this man. The man approaches her boldly and confidently. He embraces her firmly, yet gingerly and plants a kiss on her cheek. The princess giggles and looks into his eyes. The man twirls her around, slowly, like a ballerina in Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake. To finish the dance he “dips” her with the flourish of a ballroom dancer.”

Does the above passage sound like a fairytale? Does it sound like the embodiment of love between a princess and her prince? Is it the beginning of a celebration, or perhaps a Gala?

No, the above passage is a description of a greeting between a 22-yr old princess (my daughter) and her 45-year old father (me).

-Why does the princess walk gracefully? She walks gracefully because she has been raised to believe that she is graceful and beautiful.

-Why does the father smile? He smiles because she is beautiful, strong, and magnificent in his eyes.

-Why do her eyes speak of love? They speak of love because of the admiration andrespect she holds for her father.

-Why does the princess giggle? She giggles because, although she is a woman, her father brings out the “little girl” in her.

-Why does the father dance with the princess? He dances with her because he is not ashamed, nor too proud to show his love.

 

When approached by Ms. Rountree to contribute to this project I initially had reservations. I wondered what input I could have that would be beneficial to women. But, then I realized that this project is not just for women; it is for us fathers as well. In fact, this is a “must-read” for us African-American fathers.

As fathers we, as black men, fail our daughters consistently.

Yes, we often accept the challenge of teaching our sons to be men. We proudly teach them the manly things, like “courage and toughness.” We teach them how to fish, hunt, and fight. Sometimes…we even teach them to pay the bills and take care of the family.

But, what about our daughters? What are we teaching them?

As fathers, we leave it to the mothers to teach our daughters--either by our own ignorance or absence all together. While it is true that daughters often emulate their mothers, it doesn’t let us fathers off the hook. Are our daughters emulating a mother who has been respected, loved, and honored?

“Uphold your Princess
Teach her to be the woman she should be
Honor her mother, the Queen”

As men, we must take a look in the mirror. We must consider how our attitudes and interactions with our daughters can shape them for the future.

Are we teaching them about love? Are we respecting their mothers, so that they have a clear, illustrative example of what love should be between a man and a woman? Do we spend time talking to them? Do we teach them how to be a lady? Do we celebrate them like we do our sons? Do we call them just to talk? Do we answer their silly phone calls or respond to their random text messages, even when we are tired and sleepy?

The answers to the above questions should be a resounding yes.

As fathers we have a lot of work to do. Too many times our daughters leave our homes unequipped to face the challenges of being a woman in today’s society. Our daughters need to know that they are loved and respected, by their fathers. If they don’t learn about love and respect from their fathers, then they will search for it, looking in all the wrong places. They will not recognize the wolf in sheep’s clothing. They will not recognize that sex is NOT love.

Our daughters need to understand that they are valued and appreciated, not just for their outer beauty, but for their inner beauty.

Yes, inner beauty…

If our daughters do not recognize their inner beauty, then, as fathers, we again have failed.

Fathers:

Don’t be afraid to love your daughters.